Chatterbox and Sugar Wear Familar Masks
Seals 4, Ducks 3
Last night marked the night where the top two teams faced off and the bottom four teams decided their fate for the time being. The Diques fought hard but the Whalers ended their fight in bender OT. On the NHL ice, another fight was taking place. The “on the RIIISSEEE” Golden Seals took on the high flying Ducks. The game started off bad for the Ducks. Duck’s center, defensive blanket, and Disc Jockey, Pistol Pete had a DJ gig that ran a bit over schedule. This gig was one that people left early for but Pete kept the music flowing and did not stop until the last goal.. almost…
As the Zamboni exited the NHL ice, Pete was lolly gaging around, taking his sweet ass time, changing into his gear. As the first game ended and refs moved to Ducks vs Seals game, the whistle blew to start the game. The Ducks sent their defensive specialist line out there only to find out that there was no center on the ice. Turtle mumbled “What the fuck Pete, Dont worry, keep taking your time, we dont need you out here or anything.” As the Sugar/Turtle line stepped on the ice to make up for Pete’s absence, they werent too worried about the match-up. Pete was almost ready and the Ducks would be sure to get a stoppage to get him out there in time. 1 minute and 30 seconds in, the Ducks line needed a change with everyone changing but Turtle. Turtle looking to see where Pete was confused and tired. Pete was right outside the rink seen doing yoga and jumping rope to get loose along with pumping his forearms with his forearm grippers. 4 minutes in and Turtle is still on the ice gasping for air, face as red as a cherry. His legs wobbling like Cipp’s skating style, he lost track of Seal’s Stud, Vinande whose rare combo of size and speed made them pay. Twinkle toes caught the dish from Qtip and banged home the first goal. 1-0 and things did not look good for the Ducks after that. Pete didnt get his proper 30 minute stretching in and looked a bit slow at his old age of 40 compared to young speedster, ShaunE. The period ended with 1 goal to show but the Seals were far from done.
ShaunE working hard in front of the net as usual deflected a shot to go up 2-0. The ducks soon rallied along with the Sugar/Turtle combo where Turtle found the five hole to put the Ducks within 1. With a chance to tie the game, the ducks had chances but were making more mistakes than good plays. Leaving Chris “Chatterbox” Taylor open on the point, he took a slapper. On most occasions, he misses high and wide but good thing Qtip is a big dude because he deflected the shot off his hip and sent it rocketing into the back of the net to make it 3-1. Right after that goal, Seal’s GM, Todd ” Whoop” Otto decided to channel his inner Peso to remember him since he was traded. He shouted “WOOO HOOOO (insert Whoop Shuffle emoji), YEAHHH, THEY DONT WANT TO PLAY DEFENSE!! THEY ARE TOO PRETTY TO PLAY DEFENSE, LETS GOO BOYSS!!! I CANT WAIT TO EAT THIS “W” NOM NOM NOM NOM (licking his fingers which are in the shape of a W).” That is where things turned for the ducks. Not liking the chirp game of Mr. Otto, Sugar decided to send a little message. He gently rubbed Chatterbox Taylor into the boards, an elbow may have been thrown to the head by accident but whatever happened winded Chatterbox up like no one has ever seen before.
Known as the quiet guy in the league, he plays hard and doesnt say a word. After the altercation in the boards where Chatterbox took great offense. He was chirping Sugar’s dirty play to which Sugar put on a mask with the face of his GM and decided to call Chatterbox a “pussy” (classic name call). as they continued to argue, they got to the bench and Whoop handed him a mask of his famous goalie brother, Troy. Both players dawned the masks of their heroes and took action. Chatterbox got soo heated with being called a “pussy” that he wanted to give Busta Sugar a piece of his mind. He leaped off the bench and zoomed into the defensive zone like a majestic seals gliding through the water. Sugar put the breaks on the Dman and Chris Taylor struck the Busta impostor right in the leg. Standing over Sugar, Chatterbox spoke quiet words of wisdom, saying “I told you I would get you back. I am NOT a pussy! How dare you call me that, that hurt my feelings you bully!” He was escorted to the box where he took a page out of the Mighty Ducks play book and started stripping in the penalty box. Chanting “2 minutes, well worth it” to the select few crowd members trying to enjoy the game.
“Wow, who knew Chatterbox had quite the physique?” – Tye Otto
The Ducks rallied once more on the back of Busta who fed the two All-Stars, Turtle and Sugar to both add goals to bring the Ducks within 1 with about 5 minutes remaining. The Ducks pulled the tender and pushed to get the puck in the net. A couple whiffs of the puck and some soft shots and the Seals held off the fighting Ducks to seal their fate of getting out of the basement of the league. The seals are now in a 3 way tie for third while the Ducks sit in the deep dark pit the league calls. the basement, trailing by only 1 point.
From the Basement of the League Standings, Junior Señor Ducks Reporter, Maximo Victor Torez Castellanos Carera Altuve Boostámenté
