Joey B Goes for Broke
On a late goal in the 2nd period, Nordiques F Ryan Monette scored a goal that Whalers D Joe Brennan took personal responsibility for. Brennan, who is known for outbursts of destruction after minuses, went back to the bench and broke:
- His Stick
- His Helmet
- It Down
- Bad
- A Priceless Vase
- Every Canadian Girl’s Heart at the 2004 Mid-Summer Snow Bash
- His favorite Rush album
- His Backup Stick
Hetes Throws Tomahawk in Rage, Aiming for North Stars again
Let’s just get this out of the way: North Stars beat the Americans last night by a generous margin. Americans G Andrew Hetes felt really spicy during the game and with each goal against, the spice level rose. At one point, a goal went in and Hetes decided to throw his stick at the closest Star. Unfortunately, the closest Starr represents the Stars and Stripes, as Americans D John Starr had to duck to dodge his head being taken off. Hetes is trying to drum up trade interest for himself so he can take more swings at the North Stars before he leaves the league.
Cookie Power Rankings
Lady Busta’s Cookies made their first appearance after passive aggressive comments floated her way after last week. Let’s break down how they tasted in the first MNL Cookie Power Rankings for the 2017 Season:
- Red Velvet – 🔥 – ⬆️ – I don’t know what it is about these 🍪, but they went up in my books after last night! I saw a handful of players shoving these bad boys into their mouths and enjoying the aftermath. @pniphoratos “I just can’t get enough of these. Good thing jumping rope will wear off these calories”
- Choco NoBake – ⬇️ – After being these last season’s #1 in the Power Rankings, these 🍪 took a step back after a poor showing last night. Some may say they took a step back, some may say Red Velvet is upping its game. Some may say they #DoItAllForThe🍪
- Snickerdoodle – ↔️ – 🏔️ – I mean no offense to this 🍪, and I said it all preseason, but this 🍪 is just plain 🆗. To this 🍪’s defense, it tastes just how 👵 used to make them, but then you’re up against the hard competition of the MNL 🍪 Elite, you can’t just coast by! These Snickerdoodles just ain’t scoring with me #TartarNotTatar
