Last night, several hard-working Americans were commuting to work when a semi-truck driven by a red-blooded blue collar worker hopped the median on I-696 and caused a heavy traffic jam.  This held up Paul Proctor and Sam Machi, the Americans’ first and last pick, respectively.  In an urgency to fill the demand, the Americans outsourced the talents of Nordiques F David Podolan and Whalers F Ryan Maffesoli.  As soon at Proctor showed up, Americans GM Tim Braunsheidel (clearly a very American name) started laying off wingers left and right, relieving Podolan of his duties first.  Podolan was irate, not realizing that Michigan was an ‘At Will’ state:

“Wut teh hell, man?!?  Im jsut triing to pruhvide for my kiids!  Yoo nesscesseeto truhbahho!”  ~Mexican Migrant David Podolan

 

Later in the game, Machi showed up half way through the 3rd.  Machi’s job was protected since he is Union.   With his arrival, La Inmigración showed up at the rink and escorted Maffesoli off the ice.  Maffesoli and Podolan organized to protest the actions of the Americans GMs.  Maffesoli was heard shouting at the picket line “The Americans were happy to accept migrant workers for the jobs no one wanted, but were quick to oust ‘the help’ once the bench got a little tighter.”  When asked about the deportations, local civil protester Todd Otto has some encouraging words of solidarity with the displaced foreigners:

Eventually, the players in the MNLPA tried to appeal to the league’s leadership, just getting a malformed tweet that the Whalers are “Bad Hombres” and that MNL will be “YUUGE”.

“MNL.  It’s the best.  All my skaters tell me it’s the best league.  They call me and they’re like ‘Troy, your league, I just love it’.  Truly, it’s the best.” ~Troy Otto, probably.

 

From the Mexican-American border, this is MNLHN Senior Reporter Jarómy Drágr reporting.