The USA DUCKS???
Team USA The Americans and Hazel Park Ducks have reached an agreement late Friday afternoon when ‘Mericans’ GM, Manny proposed a bizarre trade to GM of the Ducks, Brian Bombusta to bring the best players in the country together. The Ducks give up goaltender, Ronnie, along with Charles Machi, AllanZ, Jim Ellis, Bob Gibb and newcomer LeRoy in exchange for Paul “Banksy” Proctor, GM Manny, CoGM Brauny, Paul Antioch, J. HALLStarr and goalie Andrew “Spicy Lettuce” Hetes. This is the trade of the century bringing in talent scattered from across the US. The USA Ducks will drop the USA Jerseys sponsored by Hendrix for old school Mighty Duck jerseys, sponsored by Dangle Sauce. The Ducks jerseys probably won’t be worn this season though because it takes 30-365 days to receive the jerseys from china.
The USA Ducks will be the rivals of MNL power house, the North Stars and most likely face them in the championship rounds. The North Stars have beat the Ducks already and look to ease their way to hoist the Stanley Keg led by Gunner Serda and goon Chase McSamuelson. The ducks GM Bombusta is thrilled with the trade and thinks they have a chance if they just be themselves and not try to out goon the other team.
Bombusta: We are not goons, we are not bullies, no matter what people say or do, we have to be ourselves. You (Points to Pistol), who are you?
Pistol Pete Portman: Pete Portman.
Bombusta: From where?
Pete Portman: From Greece Chicago, Illinois
Bombusta: You? (Points to DougE Germaine)
DougE Germaine: Ontario Canada Detroit, Michigan
Bombusta: you? (points to Jesse hALLStarr)
Jesse hALLStar: Grosse Pointe, Michigan
Bombusta: Who are you?(Points to Spicy Lettuce)
Hetes: I am sure you know who I am, I am A league Goalie Andrew Hetes, Bangor, Maine
(Bombusta continues to point at players)
Shawn Hardoza: Shawn Hardoze, Miami, Florida
Paul Antioch: Paul Antioch, Lansing, Michigan
Manny Averman: Manny Averman, Brighton, Michigan (Shakes Antiochs hand in togetherness)
Cory Zauner: Cory Zauner, Monroe, Michigan (Pete stands with his bash brother and pounds his shoulder pads in acceptance)
Bonnie Brauny Tyler: Brauny tyler, South Central, Los Angeles
Turtle Tim Conway: Turtle Tim Conway, Detroit, Michigan (Puts arms around Brauny Tyler)
Chad Wu: Chad Wu, San Francisco, California.
Bombusta: Ummmmm, Chad, You’re not a Duck, you’re a Whaler now. Wrong locker room (Chad pouts and walks out of locker room with head down)
Connie Monnette: Connie Monnette, Detroit, Michigan.
Turtle Time Conway: Is that Peso’s Mom? When did she get on this team?
Paul Bankys Proctor: Paul Proctor, Birmingham, Michigan
Jeremy “Panty” Drager: Jeremy Drager, Ann Arbor, Michigan
Bombusta: And I am Brian Bombusta, Detroit, Michigan……… (Everyone starts cheering)….. Wait, What is Panty doing in here, are you their teacher?
Panty: No, I just wanted to share where I was from. It looked fun.
Bombusta: We are Team USA, gathered from all across the America, and we are gonna stick together. You know Why?
Hal: (walks into wrong locker room behind Bombusta) Because we are DUCKS and Ducks fly together.
Bombusta: Thats right Hal, Idk why everyone keeps walking in our locker room but that is right….. and just when you think they are about to break apart…..
Ducks: DUCKS FLY TOGETHER
Panty: And when the wind blows hard and sky is black.
Ducks: DUCKS FLY TOGETHER
Jeremy “Tex” Cole: When the rosters are crowing and cows are spinning circles in the pasture…..
Bombusta: Idk when you got back to Michigan or how you got in this locker room either.
(Dramatic Pause of awkwardness)
Ducks: DUCKS FLY TOGETHER
Bombusta: And when everyone says it can’t be done….. Ducks fly together…
Hal: Now…….. New ducks, and old ducks must unite under a new banner. And I thought something like this…… (Brings in new Dangle Sauce Duck jerseys he picked up himself from Dangle Sauce)
(No Picture of new jerseys yet……. sorry)
