Historic MNL Trade Ushered in by Drunk Otto Proposals

League Slackers let out a collective belch of relief between periods of the NHL season start, peeking into their pocket glass to discover the Northstars had traded fellow Presscorps member, and Northstars 4th round draft pick star (in the Pauli constellation [click the link to follow the article reference]) forward, Chad “I’m Polish and Poles suck at hockey I swear” Paulinski, and cash considerations to the Whalers for their 3rd round draft pick, star defense man Jason ‘Shake’ Mcsham-something or other, aka the second tower in Peter Jackson’s Tolkien epic.

When questioned for comment GM Troy Otto responded:

“It’s tough seeing Chad go, but I feel it fills a hole on our roster. Shamrock gives us the shut down defense man we felt we needed to neutralize the Americans, Ducks and Diques potent offenses going forward.”

When Northstars management was further pressed on the handling of the situation, and asked to extrapolate on why the one point out of first place Northstars would fill a need pundits felt the Northstars didn’t lack. Asst. GM Tye Otto bluntly stated:

“We definitely weren’t shopping him since week one to try to be the first team to claim a trade in MNL history. That’s definitely not something Nstar Management would do.”

 

What started out as whispers began into full fledged trade talk in the ivory tow- I mean the small comfortable library with leather bound books, and soft red chairs arced sanctimoniously around a fire place. This type of gamesmanship -the managing of their teams is a privilege of the GM elite with the unfortunate side effect of the league plebeians including the trade targets themselves clueless as to the inner workings of the backroom deals. My sources informed me that the players were not told they were on the block. Of which, can be corroborated with Chad Paulinski thoughts after the Whalers morning coffee break:

“. . . They did not contact me on this issue, no, but they knew I left these type of decisions in their capable hands. Obviously it’s tough to be told you’re traded, but it just means that someone else wanted me. They probably look at it as an opportunity to get a guy, and the same goes for my now current team.”

The trade will be completed when both players pass a physical with their new teams this upcoming Friday. Despite the possibility of a LTIR tag listed on Chad Paulinski he was listed as DTD while recovering from Monday’s scare against the Ducks.

“Northstars team doctors and management have looked extensively into this issue. We take concussions seriously in MNL -following the protocols. It was deemed that he did not have a concussion, a high stress incident. He has a high percentage chance of playing Monday” said GM of the Whalers Trent aka the other Tower. “We wouldn’t have traded for him if we didn’t feel he was healthy and could contribute to this team.”

Around the Horn: Second Wind Thoughts on the Trade

League sentiment seems split down the middle on who won this trade between the Stars and Whale Tails. Fans and players alike are buzzing about the trade. One bombastic tweet from a self-proclaimed fan thinks that Whalers sold above their means to fix their scoring inability. Having this to say on the MNLHN after hours show.

This dramatic sentiment is juxtaposed by resident league good guy, and go to jersey connoisseur Dave -sometimes Ravey- P whom spoke to MNL reporter Andre Wheats after a Diques early morning CHEL sesh. Thoughts on whom won the trade from a player perspective in the league.

“Its greaT two c thiz guys make such a BIG dienamick Trade. U dnt normalle c that in dis ligue?. I think it makEs boff teems beter. There to relly good, gais and therye new teams will lik em; alot. definetlee makeS boff teems tuffer two play againsteh from a Diques purrspectuf.”

MNLHN final thoughts on the trade:

• Reporter Jarómy Drágr: “4/5 Cayenne Peppers level spice. It was a trade insiders expected the Tails to make, but not necessarily in the fashion they did it in. They addressed their scoring issues, but at what cost? Is Chad LTIR destined? Shake undoubtedly makes the Northstars a better team allowing for roster stability and giving them a shut down D. It’s a win for both teams.”

•  Reporter Carlos Antonio Machismo: “North Stars win this trade in a big way. Troy isn’t the only weakness on that team. Their defense could definitely use the boost. Also, sneaking a concussed player through the Whaler’s Medical Staff was nothing short of an Act of God. 5/5 Ghost Peppers.”

• SI Reporter Andre Wheats: “What a trade. This was a blockbuster, and hadn’t seen anything this spicy since the Peso-High Sticks incident last year. While I do love the new look of the Northstars on paper with Shake at the back, they did lose some overall team speed as Chad was probably their 2nd fastest guy on the team. It frees up Vert or whomever was a makeshift defense man Troy and Tye had back there to play offense. They’ll have some shoes to fill. I would have to say the Whalers edge this out by a razor. Chad showed dynamism last week scoring and creating for the Whalers, and was a bigger need to fill for the Whalers than Shake was for the Northstars. 5/5 Ghost Peppers.”

It only took 365 days, passing through an entire winter and spring MNL season, but the first league trade in the winter MNL session has occurred between the Northstars and Whalers. Perhaps a signalling of player deals to come in the future?

League Whispers: SI Andre Wheats Scoop

Snatched out from underneath his palms league insiders say Todd Otto is now even more serious about a trade. Two out of the three Ottos moved first beating Baby Blue to some ‘MNL-first’ glory.  My sources say that before the Whalers and Northstars pulled the trigger making beer league history there were tire kicking efforts that included a three team swap between the Seals, Whalers, and Ducks. Players that would change the foundation not just the mascara of the teams.

Names such as Peso, Allan Z, Leroy, Wright, and Shake were in the mix as well as all three goalies being traded to a new sweaters. With the Tails trade now hypothetically answering their goal scoring woes will Whoop be able to provide us with a glorious “hold my beer” moment?

My sources say that the Mighty Ducks are still interested in improving their “back end” -whatever that means. As well as the Northstars still being in the market to “wheel and deal.” Which could lead to further possible three team trade talks.

Perhaps before the rosters are settled in for week five further moves could be made over the weekend? A close source says:

“It’s very possible to see some defense or goalies traded here  pretty soon. There’s a couple teams that feel that have one hole that if fixed would vault them to first or second place.”

The honor of having the first two for two swap or three team trade is still up for grabs. The leagues anticipation is palatable as the beer that their holding. . . oh look the 2nd intermission is over. Time to sign off and get back to the NHL’s season start.

-This is S.I Reporter Andrew Wheaties signing off.

*All opinions expressed by Andrew Wheaties are a reflection of MNLHN.