On Friday afternoon, the voices in the head of Tye Otto started to all talk all at once. Scientists believes the volume to be close to an event observed annually referred to as the "Otto Family Thanksgiving Dinner". To protect himself from the mental insanity, he split his mind into
Month: September 2017
RETRACTION: Coan Skates Out, Judge Rules
MNL News Network strives for journalistic integrity in its pursuit of the juiciest fake news. I humbly and sincerely apologize for my previous article. We did not have all of the information, and we sent our story to print before everything could be verified. Please accept my apology. In a controversial
Coan Relegated to Backup Goalie Position After Hat Trick, 2 Assists
Fans are furious after Jeremy Coan lost his spot as the Nordiques Star Right Wing hours before puck drop, sources say. Jeremy "Cowboy" Coan has been a fan favorite in the league ever since he took off the goalie pads and donned a set of player gear he found in
Report: Doherty, Diques Sign Incentive-Laden Contract Extension
Nordiques Management and F Hal Doherty signed a contract extension late Sunday night, securing him to the Diques for the upcoming 2017-18 MNL Season. Doherty was drafted by the Nordiques 71st Overall during the 2017 MNL Expansion Draft. Rumors have the contract being huge, with an expected AAV of $5.5
Killer whales vs NotSoGolden Seals
Revenge of the Whalers Killer Whales toy with their prey before they eat it This episode of Planet Earth, we take a look at how Killer Whales feast on seals off the coast of South Africa. Last year we filmed a rare occurrence of a golden seal we named King Slayer Proctor
MNLHL 2017 Week 1 Power Rankings
The MNLHL writers break down their Power Rankings for Week One of the 2017 Season 212
Amber Alert Issued: Chase MacEachern
On Monday evening, North Stars GMs Troy and Tye Otto issued an Amber Alert for missing F Chase MacEachern. MacEachern, who responds to 'The General' or 'McCrackin', was last seen wandering outside of Legends in Downtown Detroit with a bottle of Fireball. Troy Otto was quoted through tears saying "He usually
Starr Spangled Americans Draw First Blood; Top Ducks Lay Egg
The Game of the Week on the Olympic Ice was destined to be a tough battle. Both teams met each other in the preseason, each with a high octane offense. Controversy began weeks before this matchup when Americans Goalie and Mouthpiece Andrew “Spicy” Hetes claimed the Ducks did not score
MNL Week 1 Awards: Sharp Dressed Man Edition
Week One is in the books and let's award some teams for their Opening Night performance. We'll be introducing Weekly Awards throughout the season. Americans: Most Appropriately Named Week One was the Americans' game to shine, as any fan who rooted against them could easily be considered a terrorist. The Americans' players
MNL Debuts New Game Time Structure; Real Party Now In the Parking Lot
The 2017-18 MNL Season is finally here, but for the players and league managers, it might have come too quickly. With the addition of the Americans and Mighty Ducks as expansion teams, MNL debuted a new game time format. MNL now features two games at 10:00pm, with one game being
