In the League’s greatest rivalry this season, DHL has officially bested Danglesauce for the 3rd week in a row.  DHL’s victory left the League’s players without their jerseys for one last week.  Many players, including League Commissioner Troy Otto, we’re disappointed by this news, but are left excited for next week, as their new threads will be available to show off soon.

Despite the late jerseys, David Podolan showed solidarity with his friend Coach Tom of Danglesauce by wearing a special jersey from Coach Tom.  Podolan wore the jersey on to the ice and it took no time at all for players to realize he was stark naked.  “My new D-D-D-D-D-Danglesauce jersey l-l-l-looks tight!”  Podolan chattered through his teeth.  “I d-d-d-d-dont no y all deez guys are l-l-l-laughing at me”  

“Shrinkage.  It was because of Shrinkage,” quipped Ducks GM Brian Bustamante.  Podolan’s wife April politely challenged that comment by saying that it was “par for the course” and she “knew what [she] signed up for when [she] married him.”  

Podolan was immediately ejected by the refs as they exclaimed they “…don’t get paid enough for this shit.”  Podolan was excited about the new “waterproof” jersey as he was able to go straight to the shower with it after his ejection.  “Bro, i nevar haev to wach it!”

From Hazel Park, this is MNLHN Senior Reporter Jarómy Drágr reporting.