Fear and awe overcame the patrons of Viking Ice Arena Monday night when a glowing deity descended from the heavens to bestow victory upon the devout Ducks. After a quick first shift goal from the Nordiques, pious GM Busta prayed that this game would go better than others. The Brown Pants God of Running Up the Score heard his pleas and came down to Earth to quickly score 2 goals against the wicked Nordiques. Riling up the team, the Brown Pants God inspired Shuga to score a hat trick and nab 3 assists. Busta even managed to score a goal. But gods cannot do everything, and even with many opportunities given to him by the Brown Pants God, Big Sexy Machi couldn’t be bothered to put one into the net. Maybe next week.

“I heard this guy came down from the fuckin heavens and started giving out points like hockey Jesus or somethin” – 1 Kimmel 2:7

Meanwhile, Prophet Pistol Pete is off for one week. Rumors indicate that he took a leave of absence in order to get some plastic surgery to look a few years younger. Pistol mentioned these changes will improve his confidence, so he expects to play much better in future games.

Looking good Pistol! But maybe invest in some Brown Pants?

 

This is Junior Señor Reporter Carlos Antonio Machismo proselytizing.