Dave P Retaliating One Year After the Famous Chiclets Incident

League Napoleon Complex Dave P horrified fans Monday when, unprovoked, he swung his stick at McHacken’s face during warm-ups. Tensions have been rising between the two skaters since early in the 2016 season when McHacken promised Dave P he’d “regret talking shit to him.” Dave P, with the poise and stature of a yippy lap dog, continued to provoke McHacken, both to his face and through the media. Early in the next game, McHacken took a slap shot and “accidentally” rode his stick up Dave P’s shaft, smacking him in the face. Dave P lost 4 teeth and broke his jaw. New footage has been revealed below (Warning: Graphic Content).

Dave P After Losing His Teeth: Edited for Younger Audiences

The collapse of the Nordiques after this incident was unprecedented. Morale dropped after Dave P was unable to sing Ke$ha in the locker room. Little Toofless swore revenge for the spring season. Unfortunately, McHacken had to take the entire spring and summer off of hockey after suffering a swollen liver. Finally, Dave P got his opportunity in the 3rd preseason matchup of 2017. Dave P was not scheduled to participate, but when Wolfe was suddenly “incapacitated” minutes from puck drop, Dave P was fortunately onsite with all his gear. What a stroke of luck and not at all suspicious! Dave P went up to the scorekeeper’s box and squeaked, “Watch this! Better get it on camera!” and swung at McHacken from behind. Fortunately for McHacken, Dave P was unable to reach high enough to hurt him, but this dangerous behavior will not be tolerated by the league.

Dave P has been fined 4 teeth for his behavior, but the league has accepted that he made the payment preemptively in 2016.

This is journalist Carlos Antonio Machismo, Reporting in